Behind Closed Doors: Feeling The Pressure

.#26 Never Too Experienced - Feeling The Pressure

Anyone who’s had sex at least once will be able to tell you that male and female orgasms don’t have equal value. Male orgasms are easier to come by, which works out quite well because they also happen to be more moody when they fail to climax. Whereas female orgasms generally take a bit more work but can be mind-blowing and come in multiples.

However, when you watch the movies men and woman are orgasming together left right and center. No foreplay, behind the bins, knickers pushed to one side and no more thrusts than I have fingers. No problem – he and she cum in unison. Maybe the fact Jamie was an actor had something to do with this scenario…perhaps before me he’d only slept with actresses who were equally as keen for a matched ending or was I just supposed to be part of his perfect scene?

Trading orgasms is difficult with someone you’ve slept with for months, never mind in the early stages of a relationship when you’re yet to learn the tell tale signs of when your partner is building and so when to really let go and encourage your orgasm along a little. From personal experience non-verbal communication is key, questioning can risk killing the mood and so the orgasm.

I can remember asking an old boyfriend whether he was ‘close’ once and he responded “well I was, until you asked.” I shut up quick and put my back into it but it was almost as though he was annoyed at me from then until he climaxed. He was tired, it had been a long day, and with the added frustration of seeing the ‘light’ and having it snatched away from him he snapped. He shouldn’t have done, but it does highlight the frustration in not being able to summon an orgasm when you want one. And, particularly for ladies, often the more you think about it the less likely it is to happen…

In conclusion, the less you try to trade orgasms the better your chance of a harmonious climax, which is something Jamie was yet to learn. He was keen and I’d give him a gold star for effort – if he wasn’t fucking me, he was going down on me. But the pressure to orgasm was so much that I never successfully let it drop to the back of my mind.

“I’m not going to cum until you come.”

“It’s going to be so hot to cum while you’re cuming.”

“I bet you look amazing when you cum, babe.”

“I really want to make you cum, so we can cum together.”

“What can I do to make you cum?”

“Are you going to cum soon?”

“Are you close?”

“Are you close??”

“Are you close???” the night went on he got less creative.

When someone’s putting the pressure on with almost every thrust your only two options are to fake it or demand they get over it and shoot their load. I chose the latter.

15 thoughts on “Behind Closed Doors: Feeling The Pressure

  1. After coming maybe 1 – 10% of the time in my teens and early twenties to coming 90% of the time now, I feel like I’m on a pretty good wicket. Sometimes I think it’s hard for guys, who come roughly 100% of the time, to understand why you’d even want to have sex or how you could possibly enjoy sex without the orgasm at the end. Yes, of course it’s better with an orgasm, but I’ve resigned myself to the fact that it’s not always going to happen. I don’t know that guys can get their heads around that. It’s almost like their even more disappointed than you are that you didn’t come!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you’re absolutely right!

      Guys have sex for an orgasm, whereas girls have sex to stimulate their senses and an orgasm is a bonus… From experience empathy isn’t always the most prominent skill in men though!


  2. I am THRILLED that you dropped by. SMILE. Are you familiar with my book “Orgasms: 101 Facts & Trivia”. Some stuff in there that will give you inspiration. Would YOU like me to send you a complimentary eBook copy. Just need an e-mail. You know my ‘’ blog since you have visited. My e-mail is there, on the righthand sidebar, below the picture of my funny face. Send me an e-mail with an e-mail, if you are interested. Do not FORGET, though I doubt you will, July 31 is NOD — National Orgasm Day. Rejoice and don’t feel any pressure other than the pressure you might need … SMILE.


  3. Your good humor when covering important aspects of being human is always entertaining and enlightening from your personal perspective. Your last line could be the bedroom mantra for many women.

    Training your man can take some time if you plan to keep him. Here is where discussion helps but most hominids learn by doing and practice makes perfect. A woman that invests in training her man to her needs will likely see dramatic improvements over time. This is no time to be shy. Most male bi-pedal hominids start their lustful journey with only the basic instincts of animal behavior and some never get past that. However, in many cases a captive male can be taught all kinds of things and suddenly he becomes aware that love and intimacy is like a symphony. There are many things happening at once and each instrument is not always playing at the same time, but with talent earned by diligent attention to mastery and a good conductor all the parts play in tune.


    1. I’m really glad you enjoy my writing and thank you for taking the time to comment.

      I think you’re absolutely right, everyone needs to learn and I don’t think I’ve met a man unwilling to take suggestions on board! Equally, I think women can learn a lot from candid conversations around likes and dislikes. The important thing to remember is that everyone is different, so regurgitating old tricks isn’t necessarily going to get you to your goal, it’s not a slight on someone’s skill set. With sex, as with most things, good communication and honesty with get you the result your looking for quickest.

      Thanks again for taking the time to have a read : )

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Agree totally and your presentation of such important matters makes it easy to understand in a way that bridges the reluctance to address important issues in relationships and self assessment. It’s a wonderful talent and very helpful.

        Liked by 1 person

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