Anyone who’s had sex at least once will be able to tell you that male and female orgasms don’t have equal value. Male orgasms are easier to come by, which works out quite well because they also happen to be more moody when they fail to climax. Whereas female orgasms generally take a bit more work but can be mind-blowing and come in multiples.
However, when you watch the movies men and woman are orgasming together left right and center. No foreplay, behind the bins, knickers pushed to one side and no more thrusts than I have fingers. No problem – he and she cum in unison. Maybe the fact Jamie was an actor had something to do with this scenario…perhaps before me he’d only slept with actresses who were equally as keen for a matched ending or was I just supposed to be part of his perfect scene?
Trading orgasms is difficult with someone you’ve slept with for months, never mind in the early stages of a relationship when you’re yet to learn the tell tale signs of when your partner is building and so when to really let go and encourage your orgasm along a little. From personal experience non-verbal communication is key, questioning can risk killing the mood and so the orgasm.
I can remember asking an old boyfriend whether he was ‘close’ once and he responded “well I was, until you asked.” I shut up quick and put my back into it but it was almost as though he was annoyed at me from then until he climaxed. He was tired, it had been a long day, and with the added frustration of seeing the ‘light’ and having it snatched away from him he snapped. He shouldn’t have done, but it does highlight the frustration in not being able to summon an orgasm when you want one. And, particularly for ladies, often the more you think about it the less likely it is to happen…
In conclusion, the less you try to trade orgasms the better your chance of a harmonious climax, which is something Jamie was yet to learn. He was keen and I’d give him a gold star for effort – if he wasn’t fucking me, he was going down on me. But the pressure to orgasm was so much that I never successfully let it drop to the back of my mind.
“I’m not going to cum until you come.”
“It’s going to be so hot to cum while you’re cuming.”
“I bet you look amazing when you cum, babe.”
“I really want to make you cum, so we can cum together.”
“What can I do to make you cum?”
“Are you going to cum soon?”
“Are you close?”
“Are you close??”
“Are you close???”
..as the night went on he got less creative.
When someone’s putting the pressure on with almost every thrust your only two options are to fake it or demand they get over it and shoot their load. I chose the latter.