Over my years of intimate relations I’ve learnt that all lovers can be placed in one of these categories:
- No Chancers – Anal sex doesn’t cross their mind.
- In Their Dreams – Would love to fuck you in the ass but respectfully retreat at the first sign of your hesitation.
- Nags – Don’t register the phrase ‘I’m not that into anal’.
I can’t pretend that I am an expert when it comes to anal sex but I definitely have a good breadth of experience with all of the above. I can understand the appeal of anal sex to guys – it’s tight and it’s dirty – coupled with its ever increasing presence in porn there’s no surprise that the pressure on women to allow their anus to be penetrated is getting greater day by day.
Based on my female friendship group I’d say it was fairly evenly matched with regards to those who absolutely love receiving a dick in their ass and those who really don’t or have never wanted to try. Strange though it may seem coming from a lady who may appear to have poor controls regarding who enters her vagina I see anal sex as really intimate. It’s not something I’d do with someone I didn’t know and trust. Having never forged a short-to-midterm relationship with any ‘Nags’ and with the vast majority of my mid-to-long-term relationships being with ‘No Chancers’ my anal sex life has ranged from none existent to minimal.
If you’re with a ‘No Goer’ you’ll have a tough argument if you’d like to give anal a bash. These are the guys that really like sex, have no problem getting creative and are more than happy keeping it how nature intended. They get plenty of stimulation from your vagina and have so much fun putting you in all the positions they can think of that they don’t have the desire to negotiate extra crevices.
The ‘In Their Dreams’ guys are my favourite, although I’ve only ever come across three of these (to date). They are a respectful balance between affection and kink. They could think of nothing better than bending you over and fucking you in the ass but at any sign of hesitation they back off and don’t fail to make the most of hours of position swapping and passion, fully enjoying you and your beautiful vagina. They relish being near you and having sex, if you wouldn’t be comfortable having anal then neither would they.
Moving on to the least welcome category, the ‘Nags’, these guys rarely last the night by my records. They have a one track mind and that track is ‘anal, anal, I want anal.’ You’ll start off with a pleasant bit of flirting and foreplay, eventually all your clothes will have been cast to one side and so it begins…
They try to put their dick in your ass, you guide into your vagina.
They shove a finger in your ass, you pull it out.
‘I’d really love to cum in here’ they say as you (again) pull their finger from the entrance to your ass hole.
‘Fucking you in the ass would be so hot right now’ they say as you (again) guide their penis away from your ass and into your vagina.
‘Your ass is so tight’ they say as they force their finger into your ass (yet again).
And so it continues…
What could be fantastic sex between two people who wanted to tear each other’s clothes off turns into a game of ‘Guard The Bum Hole’. I can’t relax nor really enjoy what good sex we may be having and as a result have no intention of seeing them again.
I’m not against anal sex in the slightest – just as many of my friends rave about it as those who don’t enjoy or care to try it and I’ve had one or two good experiences myself. However, I am against girls and ladies giving into anal sex due to persistent boys and men. Anal sex can be amazing but if you’re hesitant it won’t be, stick to your guns ladies. While some guys are ever so keen for you to just ‘give it a go’ if you asked to dildo them in the ass most would run a mile; offering that compromise has gotten me off the hook several times in the past!
Porn stars make it look terribly easy, and perhaps for some it is. However, some people are never going to enjoy anal play or anal sex. And for others jumping straight into full penetration is no mean feat. It’ll always be best to stick with someone you know isn’t going to get in a huff if you decide that a finger was okay, maybe even nice, but you’d rather not take a full penis just yet. You might even like someone licking your ass hole or perhaps massaging it with a fingertip but that doesn’t mean you have to let them get their dick all up in your ass.
If you’re thinking of having anal sex explore the possibilities with lube and a digit or two to judge what you like and don’t like. If you only move on when you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself then you’ll have much more fun than if you’re tense. Slow and steady wins the race.