Behind Closed Doors: Socks on, Tights off!

It’s been said that men should always take their socks off first, because once their shirt and trousers start coming off their socks generally get forgotten in the passion and they then look silly standing up after the deed’s done wearing nothing but a pair of socks.

But I don’t mind men leaving their socks on. I don’t think they look that silly.There’s only ever been one time when a man leaving his socks on really distracted me…

During an after shower quickie (at my then boyfriends parent’s house) I’d barely finished drying myself when he bent me over and, with my hands against the wall, entered me. It wasn’t glamorous, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable…then my gaze dropped to the floor (which naturally it would) and he not only had chunky thermal socks on but his feet were also slipped into a pair of old brown Birkenstocks. From that moment it became comedy sex rather than passionate sex, although that didn’t remove the enjoyment.

I conclude that the odds are so far against you being bent over by someone wearing thermal socks and Birkenstocks I wouldn’t let a single man on this planet worry (for even a second) about whether his socks are on or off.

What I would rather have been brought to my attention is how unflattering wearing only a pair of tights can be, particularly after an indulgent date. After catching myself in the mirror once or twice I always opt to take my tights off before my dress. I know some guys love tights – heck, there’s a whole fetish category related to hosiery! But after three courses, seven cocktails and several shots of tequila I personally feel like an overstuffed sausage in tights…and this is only highlighted when I slip my dress off to reveal that I also look like an overstuffed sausage erupting from its casing.

Sure, it might be presumptions to take my tights off the moment I get in the door. But taking my tights off doesn’t constitute consent and, if I don’t flash my knickers, I’m almost certain 95% of men don’t notice. But then later, if things do take a turn for the sexy I will feel (and look) like a goddess when I pull my dress over my head to reveal a sexy round belly full off three courses, seven cocktails and several shots of tequila.


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